[sonata]

Please don't make any assumptions!

I understand because I have been where you are. I searched 20 years before I was successful! I thought the exact same thing many times - that if my birthmother wanted to be found I would have been able to find her. Everytime I hit a road block part of me took it as a personal rejection (even though I knew that wasn't logical!)

Well, I finally did find her and come to find out she not only wanted to be found but had been looking for me too! We also discovered that BOTH of us had contacted the State of Tennessee hoping to be matched in a registry but we weren't! There are too many reasons to go into here, but the trail was cold for both of us and it finally took a private investigator to find her.

Another thing to consider is that many birthmothers - mine included - feel that they don't have the "right" to search. They have been told - or tell themselves - that they relinquished all their rights and that they may upset their child's life by finding him or her.

If you are commited to locating your birthfamily, please don't give up because of any imagined rejections. You may possibly be rejected and that is something you have to be prepared for going in. But you NEVER KNOW until you get there. Very often, things aren't as they seem. Good luck, Sonata