Colleen,

Though it is true that he is considered paying child support (whether through garnishment or any way), you can charge abandonment if he has no contact with the kids for a year. However, you cannot start the step-parent adoption until you guys have been married for a year.

A suggestion: can you and John get a civil ceremony now and then have the big wedding later? That way you have a headstart on the adoption.

Good luck.

Saili