[willowhawk]

After reading through this thread, I don't know if there is a "right or wrong" answer. I have a 15 year old adopted daughter, and I know for a fact that she could not parent a child by herself, right now. I also think back to my childhood friend who got pregnant at 16 and was forced to give the child up and never even see him. She had serious emotional issues for a long time and maybe still does. I also am in a situation with 5 adopted kids (2 b-moms) were we chose to do open adoptions with both. Neither one ever followed through, not even for 1 visit. They found it would be too difficult to see the kids. There are so many differing opinions here and I think what's right for one, may be wrong for another. I guess it's all a matter of choice. I am a bio-mom also, and one of my sons at the age of 17 was faced with a pregnant girlfriend. They were just ending highschool and planning to go to college. My son wanted the baby desperately and I even offered to help parent the child. The girlfriend decided on abortion, as this was the best choice for her and what her mother wanted. My son was heartbroken and so was I (my 1st grandchild). They each went their separate ways after that. My son, now at age 23, still mentions his baby every once in awhile. Getting back to open adoption, though, I look at this from my a-kids view point. I feel my youngest is probably OK with not knowing or seeing his b-mom as he was adopted by me at age 2 and never really knew her. On the other hand, my other a-kids were older, 10, 9, 8, 7 when I adopted them. I felt that an open adoption would maybe be good for them. I know now that my 15 year old daughter has many questions she'd like to ask her b-mom, and can't at this point. I guess I've gotten off the beaten path here and may be rambling, but the only point I was trying to make is that everyone is entitled to make their decisions on what is BEST for them. Not everyone feels the same way. I know that I as a grandmother now to 3 beautiful babies, I could never imagine not being a part of their life. They are a part of me, even if they belonged to my a-kids, they would still be a part of me........