Quote:
Originally posted by banjo
Hang in there and don't feel you have to make a decision straight away. Take that baby home, love it and then, weeks or months later if your daughter feels she still wants to adopt then start the process....
Just be there for her and care for that child - ie be the baby sitter so she can still go out, organise childcare so she can finish school, care for that child if she chooses to travel - please make the sacrifice. The whole family will benefit in the long run...
|
I agree that
her daughter does not need to make the decision right away. However, this is not the grandmother's decision to make. Nor do I believe that it is up to the grandmother to care for this child until the mother is ready. Children need stability from the beginning. They need to bond with a primary caregiver that will be there for them throughout their childhood. Hopefully it is the mother by birth. But if this grandmother is going to be parenting this child then she should be a full fledged parent. I think it is unfair to the child to allow a situation where they will be taken from a parent (at 3 years or however long it takes her daughter to finish school) to be with a mother she barely knows. This is not only about the daughter's life, needs and desires, it is about the child's as well.
If the daughter is going to maintain her parental rights then she should be the one to parent. There are 15 year olds who can parent well, with guidence. Get her the guidence she needs to parent, but do not do it for her.