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I am in between being an adoptive mom and am still a hopeful adoptive mom, it's a long story but the short of it is after years on our adoption journey we were finally blessed when we were chosen by a 22 yr old birthmom, the bdad was not onboard at first but later agreed. "Our" son was born on Nov 5th, I got to be in the delivery room and was able to cut his cord. We also wanted the birthparents to have as much alone time with him as possible, maybe that wasn't the smart thing but to us it felt right, the heartaches have begun because bdad who in no way, shape or form can provide for his son is fighting us in court for custody. We do not know how this end but all we know is that we have been giving this precious baby all the love and nurturing and support HE needs and will continue to do so even with the possibility he can be taken from us in another month or two.
Please let your daughter do the adoption plan the way she wants it to be, if she wants her baby in the room with her or the nursery... let this be her choice. I cried when the dear friend of our sons birthmom relayed a story of how she was forced to place 24 yrs ago and never got a chance to hold her daughter or tell her the things she wanted to. It made all the difference in the world to our sons' bmom to be able to hold him, keep him in the room with her and all of us and it made a big difference to her to be able to place him in my arms outside the hospital. Support is very important and you are giving all of that to your daughter. I can only imagine how your heart must be breaking also for being faced with such a difficult and heartbreaking decision.
If you want to write me to let off steam or to support you please do so.
You, your daughter and her baby and your family are in my thoughts and prayers...... wishing you all the best
Jennifer
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