[Dawnzlight]

Thanks for your responses and questions....


Lets see..


Birth mom-- she abandoned my son and his siblings, my son was placed in a psych unit after being unable to 'control' him after placed at the age of 2 when found in his crib and no adults. The other siblings were placed with the grandmother.

Birth mom continued to be in and out of jail and drug using. My son visited with birth mom up to the age of 8, when she 'plea bargained' a lesser sentence if she would relinquish her parental rights. I think she is serving yet again in prison. My mom tries to keep us informed as we moved from NY to GA-it was a few months after leaving NY that the violence escalated and he took a 10 inch butcher knife and a baseball bat to me. It has never gotten better. And the fact may be he resents the heck out of me, for leaving NY and his chances of ever reuniting with his mom... he of course denies all of the above.


When we arrived on the scene, as the foster family he lived with for 4 years, decided they just didnt want to commit to adopting him for their personal reasons. But he called the foster mother ... Mom.

He hasnt seen her since she relinquished her rights, in fact I do believe she is still incarcerated. The birth father, we only know of his name. Never contacted.


My son currently is not in any counseling. I enrolled him in a local m.health program, but he is in the initial interviewing stages, and had to cancel his first counseling appt. Until he goes for that session, he cannot participate in the anger management group.

I have had counselors that have been trained in sexual abuse, adoption, and troubled and homicidal teens. We have done family and individual counseling. Most of the time, he played games, lied, etc. I just found a thread on RAD-reactive attachment disorder, and I do believe that is a big part of his issues...Since he has dealt with rejection over and over all of his life: birth mom, grandmother, foster mom...etc...

I want to be part of his healing, but often times, like this morning, I feel I am more of a hindrance than anything.

My husband and son get along greatly... husband was an over the road truck driver tho for most of the last 5 years, and was home every other weekend. But he did have other male role models in his life, such as my brother in law, and church youth leaders.


I hope to be part of his counseling, they have said that it would be wonderful if he would allow us to counsel as a family, but I cannot force him at this age now. He needs to have us there because he lies so, and frankly it will be a waste of time if he has no one to hold him accountable. They will only hear what he chooses to tell them or what he fabricates. We have talked this over with him as well, but I do not see it making a difference to him. He is a consumate liar. Even with 'evidence' in hand, he will lie til he is blue in the face, and continue to lie.

Thank you for your prayers... .:: takes a deep breath:::: Does mean alot to me,
Dawn