[Indy]

Great question Sherry. The board has certainly been rocked with some tramatic adoption experiences. But there have been much success too.

Many of you know my story, some don't. If you do, just skip this part. I am one of the single dads on the board. I may be the only one left, don't know. I have 4 sons J (19), M (13), Ja (11), C (10).

J came to live with me when he was just 16. He is MMR and the IEP that was written was designed to prepare him for a sheltered workshop and a group home. This is always the easy road for the kids that no one wants to deal with. He had an IQ of 63 and scored second and third grade for his skill levels. He was VERY quiet, rarely speaking. He never showed any emotion. At first he did not want to be adopted. I remained committed to him and told him that it did not matter, he had a home. Over the years, he started to come out of his shell. I took the school to task and rewrote his IEP. I took him out of special ed classes (he continued to have two special ed classes) and forced the school to provide him supports in mainstream classes. He made friends in the mainstream (girlfriends too, that's another story). He is now 19. In his last testing at school, he scored a 71 for an IQ. His English skills were 6th grade and his math skills were 4th grade. But most importantly, he smiles and is proud of what he has accomplished. He is now very verbal. He has become a fine young man, who has friends (even a steady girlfriend for a year now!). J has called me dad for a couple of years now, sometimes he slips and calls me daddy. He will live on his own, at least semi independently.

M came to live with me when he was 10. He is diagnosed with Asperger's, a form of autism. He came from a family that had had him for 7 years in foster care. The foster care mother had wanted a little baby and did everything for him. He did not learn to tie his shoes until he was 9! When he first came to live with me, he wore pull ups to bed. It would take him over an hour to eat a meal. He did not know how to clean up after himself and needed help taking a bath. At school, he was in a self contained classroom, due to behavior. That was 2 1/2 years ago. M ties his shoes like a pro. He has not wet the bed in nearly two years! He can be done with a meal in a reasonable amount of time. He takes showers on his own. When it comes to chores, he can think of ones to do on his own (sometimes, LOL). He is mainstreamed in all classes, except one. The school has told me that they have seen more maturity out of him this year. He has friends and I think, is happy.

The last two I have only had for 8 months, so I will wait to write about their successes after a couple of years. I will say that they to are doing much better this year in school than last. They are in soccer and karate.

Sometimes in the evening, I usually sit and think about how lucky I am to have my family. If I had to do it over again, I would.

I hope this answers your question.

Indy