[Linny]

Sherry:
I think if I were to state a successful older adoption placement, it would start in telling you that we personally had to change our definition of the entire topic.
We have one son in RTC, that had we been given ALL info we requested, we would never have adopted. (We now have the paperwork, in hand, that the dept had all the time.)
We also have two children who came to us at 3 and 6yrs. They have been with us for over four years and while they have made great strides, their bond with us is not like the infant adoptions we have had. We love them, we care deeply for them......but it amazes me how the 'loyalties and trust issues' (from them) are oftentimes 'thrown out the window' from time to time------just when we thought they were 'over that'! We could honestly say that parenting them is not 'fun' as were/are the 'infant adoptions'.
Is their placement successful? Yes. But their issues remain.....lessened, but remain. We were ignorant enough to think that the issues would at some point, lessen incredibly. They haven't.
Because of this, I cannot say that our family is 'normal'. There are always considerations to take into account. This is not as we experienced with our first two adoptions that were 'infant' adoptions. Life was not always rosey with them in their teen years........but basically, our family was 'normal'.
I'm now of the opinion that if a family wishes to adopt older children, then they should ONLY adopt older kids. In this way, the family will never be able to 'compare' one style of parenting with the other; for I feel they are very, very different.

Sincerely,

Linny