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Advice followup
I can see already you're getting a lot of good support from your post. I'm posting as a brand new" grandma".....my daughter, age 17 just surrendered a beautfiful baby girl for adoption. I also am an adoptive mother to 2 grown beautiful daughters.
Our baby was just born on December 13, so the long term experience isn't yet there. I can tell you that so far it's been fabulous. Our daughter called all of the "shots!" This is her show (so to speak) and she's capable of making the necessary decisons...ones that she can live with. We've given her all of the informtation and support to make those decisions. She decided on a private open adoption. We chose the couple whe are acquaintences of ours but live 100 miles away on a farm. They were present at the birth. We kept the baby with us during our hospital stay. My daughter wanted to spend as much time as possible with her before her departure. There ware many beautiful (and tearful) minutes.
We have an ongoing relationship with the adoptive family.....and we have already visited for the first tme, just yesterday. It was fabulous!
Both of our children are in semi-closed adoptions. Their birthmothers have never been far from us in thouught.....but as of now, have not attempted to contact. I have always remained forever indepted to them for thier sacrifices and would welcome the opportunity to share the girls with them. However, my girls are now ages 20 & 17. I am so proud of my girls.....and I would hope their birthmothers would also be! I will always hold a special place for them in my heart.
With counseling, I would consider taking a backseat and letting your daughter call the shots as far as her birth plans. Otherwise, you risk the chance of being a skapegoat for any ill feelings in the future!
Good luck and best wishes!
Pam
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