Quote:
Originally posted by KristieMaureen
"whomever feels like it "stinks" you all should thankful you are alive."
This is EXACTLY the attitude that infuriates many adoptees... this expectation of eternal gratitude for simply being given the opportunity to breathe. We're alive... we simply shouldn't demand anything more from anyone.
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You know, I never understood the theroy that kids should be grateful to their birthparents because they chose not to abort. I don't get that people should automatically be grateful to their parents for having adopted or given birth to them. People do not ask to be adopted or born.
Like any other relationship, gratitude, love and trust are earned by the care and concern we show to each other. I am grateful for my parents, not only that they gave birth to me, but for all the love, support and respect I have gotten from them over the years.
I, as a birthmother, do not exp;ect my son to thank me for giving birth to him. If anything I expect him to someday be a bit angry at me for making such a life altering decision for him in which he had no input. So far he has not, but then we have been in a fully open adoption since his birth and he has grown up knowing he is a priority in my life, even though I was not able to parent him at the time he was born. I hope that has made some difference. The honor and gratitude in being his first mother is all mine.