[DianeS]

I have not seen any mention of the father of the child in this discussion. Speaking as a potential adoptive parent, it is important for this child's mother and grandparents to realize that the father has almost as much right to the child as the mother has.

Your daughter needs to talk to him as soon as possible, and see if he will support the decision to have the child adopted. If he refuses to sign relinquishment papers and announces his decision to care for the child (with our without his family's help), then many already-laid plans can be disrupted or at least delayed while the matter of custody drags through the court. He should also be seeking his own counseling, to be sure of what his needs are as far as adoption and whether he wants a say in the parents the child will be raised by, future contact, etc.

If the birthfather is unknown, not reachable, denies he's the father, unwilling to agree to the adoption, etc... then I would seek a lawyer's advice now, rather than waiting.

{{{HUGS}}} to everyone involved!