[solonely1974]

Why would anyone say that adoption stinks? I am an adoptee and to be honest I am happy where I am, lost and confused at times but I would never say that adoption stinks.

My a-mother (a social worker) says that bmothers that do put up their children are actually very mature, they are thinking about what is best for their child not what is best for them. That is what all mothers do, wanting the best for their children.

Now, for a bmother to keep the baby just so she can 'have a baby' is very immature, selfish. Maybe because she is looking for love and feels this child will give her the love noone else can give her. That is very selfish. Carry a baby doll around, or babysit.

Obvisously some birth mothers know and feel like there is nothing she can offer this child. So why have herself and that child struggle? That is unfair to the child and for her. Yeah, it would be nice to be with the lady that brought you into this world, but sometimes it is for the best.

I'm in the process of searching for my bmother. She is unsure at this time. Which I understand, but at the same time I don't. But I have to deal with it and move on. I only know that she was young and the birthfather had passed away before I was born. Her parents were very supportive with her decision. I don't think she 'chickened out', 'found the easy way out' I think she thought what was best for me.

So being raped, incest or a court... that should not be the only reason for adoption. If one is not ready for a baby, give the baby to someone who does want him/her. Their are so many loving homes with families that would love to love that child.

But, adoption does not stink, it's a blessing I think.