[HappyMomAnna]

Emily K. Broggi


I have been thinking about your original question a lot the past two days.

I have a brother who is the father of three children--his wife ran off a few years ago--sick of living in poverty and being a mommy. My brother loves his children but all in all he is a big loser---children need more then his love---they need a decent home, clothes, and some kind of structure in their lives. My brothers children do not have a normal life......they spent four years in LosVegas living in one night hotel rooms while their mother was a stripper all night---in the summer they lived in the camp gounds...then they lived all five in my mothers garage for over 2-years.....until she ran out of savings and moved 1800 miles away....

It is really clear that eventually my brother is NOT going to be able to keep the children.......it really is this bad!

Come the time when the state is about to step in---What choices will my brother have? First he can let the state take the children and because of the ages they will most likely be seperated.... and he can then try hard to work with the state to get them back---which is doubtful because he does not like to work hard.....OR he could call me---and we could talk with an attorney and I could adopt the children--thus keeping them out of the state care and in the family.

I have heard of this happening many times especially with grandparents. I think many moms and dads faced with the choice of letting their children enter the Foster Care system or be adopted by family or someone they know would much rather see their children adopted...... rather then temporairy guests of a paid family....... If I were faced with such a horrible moment--I would rather my children have parents that adopt them---then a Foster Family where they may or may not stay.

I think a parent who makes the choice to have the children placed for adoption also has the chance to ask for certain things---like contact and openness.....whereas in Foster Care the parent has to follow the rules the caseworkers establishes. If my brother has me adopt his children--and then spends the next three years getting himself together---his children will still be here--and there is a real chance of reunification...... if the children are placed in Foster Care---under federal law the Sate can move in after 16-months and place his children for adoption---and seal the records---

I think many parents in a rough spot would rather make the decissions about where their children grow up---I think the choice to have a child placed for adoption is one these parents make at the hardest time in their lives......