[tobeafamily]

I agree with Brenda. In our society, there is no real 'term' for biological parents who voluntarily surrender their parental rights. Some call them 'real moms', some 'first moms', some 'birth moms', etc. There's no framework here for her to reference, and she is grieving, as happy as she may sound to hear from you.

I'd suggest talking with her about how yes, she will always be your child's first mother, the one who carried him in her body and loved them enough to give them the parents she wasn't ready to be. Then suggest you both come up with a 'name' for her that our child can use that hopefully represents what she is in their life, without confusion. Give her a 'special' name. Then ask her what she thinks.

I would not reduce or eliminate contact based on this, especially if your goal is to have a healthy long term relationship. Instead, offer some empathy and suggestions.

IMHO

Regina, AMom to Ryan Joshua Thomas