[vicrose]

This all has to happening so fast for you..my heart goes out to you. I am not a birthmother..but rather an adoptee. My birthmother was 17 years old when she had me, and it was a closed adoption. Sometimes as parents we want to protect our children from any harm..but I don't see what harm it would do to give in to your pregnant daughter's wishes to see her baby after birth, spend a few days in the hospital with the baby, and then afterwards having open contact with the adoptive family. If anything, I think this will help your daughter in the long run have emotional stability in her life. She has made a very important decision by telling you about the pregnancy, and furthermore by choosing the baby's adoption plan. She is a mother now, and always will be the child's mother....you are her parents, but she is ultimately the mother of this child..and I really think that you should listen to her feelings on this. I cannot imagine the pain of having to placea child up for adoption....but on the flip side..I am an adoptee, and long to know my birthmother. I wish you and your family the best. God Bless...Hugs, Brenda