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Hi Stephanie,
I don't know if you know anything about our story but Dh and I have been through a lot in December alone. First we were matched with a birthmother who delivered December 11th. We watched this child be born and were the first to hold him then she changed her mind because her parents were pressuring her to keep him. Then less than a week later we were told of an expectant mother in Texas who was interested in us and she was due in Feb. This last Sunday we were informed that she had the baby and we would be getting a call on Monday.
We got the call that she had chosen us but I was given a heads up from our facilitator that her mom had been giving her a hard time about her decision and so were her four sisters. I shared our concerns about this with the expectant mother and she said she would just deal with it because she was strong in her convictions to place her child. About an hour later she called our facilitator to say she was keeping the baby.
So yes others have been devasted. My faith in God is what gets me through as well as faithful friends and family.
We're struggling with feelings too that we don't want to have. It is very difficult for dh and I to be excited right now even about getting the next call because we start to think that the same thing is going to happen again. We are so on guard now, we don't feel like we can truly be ourselves with other expectant mothers because of being so guarded. It's going to be a lot harder to trust what anyone says. I hope this lessens because the expectant mother who does choose us and sticks with her plan doesn't deserve this from us.
I think at this point we would probably switch to International adoption because it doesn't involve the risk of the expectant mother changing her mind. But...we already have a lot invested financially in domestic adoption and I don't want somone else raising my child for most of the first year of his/her life.
We are going to continue forward trusting that God does have a baby for us and an expectant mother who won't change her mind. It is harder but I think all of this is making us stronger too.
This is very tough stuff to go through but I believe it will happen for us and it will happen for you if we don't give up! I hope and pray that your new match for Feb. will be the one!
Hugs,
Judy
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