Stephanie,
I'm sorry you're feeling upset. The holidays are difficult, one way or the other, for many of us touched by adoption. It seems that the whole world is happy, and it only exacerbates our sadness, or makes us feel selfish for being sad. But you are not the only one who isn't feeling great right now; there are others on this forum who understand.
I'm glad you've already found a new situation and are matched with another p-bmom. I think you are wise not to get too excited. It is hard to deal with disappointment after disappointment without becoming numb, and you must protect your heart a little, so that you have something left when your baby finally comes.
Sometimes potential birthmoms change their minds. I wish I could tell you differently, but it happens; we all know it happens.
Other times, they don't. They follow through with their adoption plans. Sooner or later, if you are patient and determined, you will be matched with a birthmother who will not change her mind; that will be the baby that's meant for you.
I wish you a peaceful Christmas; you have every right to be disappointed and sad... but you also have every reason to be hopeful, or at least cautiously optimistic, about this new situation. It could very well turn out to be the one
.
I'm sorry that the potential birthmother in your previous situation neglected to inform you in a timely manner that she had changed her mind. In my opinion, that was very wrong, and I'm sure that it added to your disappointment and sorrow. If your new match is much more open, hopefully the p-birthmom will at least give you the courtesy of keeping you informed about what's going on.
I wish you the best, and even if this Christmas isn't the happiest, keep in mind that next Christmas may be... there's every reason to be optimistic that you will have a new baby by next Christmas.
Best wishes to you, ~ Sharon