[Sabra]

Dear Belovedof3 (Love your username)

It may feel that you are caught in the middle regarding making a big family decision. I would like to post your question to our Expert Forum (board) entitled "A Social Worker's Point of View." Our expert that places children into homes may be able to give you some insight of what help the social worker you are involved with may be able to give you. Perhaps your social worker has some additional specifics about this little girl in particular that she could share with you. Was this little girl a first born in any of her prior homes, etc. I would ask the social worker if she knows if a temperment study has been done on this child. Perhaps you could get some specifics about this little girl's temperment such as introverted, sensative, outgoing. creative, artistic, domineering, self-sufficient or? Knowing about her attributes will help you to get a feel for her temperment. By Knowing her temperment you can to see if her temperment is possibly a good mix with your other two children. If you post the this little girls attributes that you find I may be able to help you get an idea of what temperment she is and what the your older two special children are as well.

If I were in your shoes I would ask my bio daughter how she would feel being a big sister to someone close to her age. She may voice what being the youngest is to her personally. You would then be able to have some insight on your bio daughter's feelings about her birth order change from youngest to middle child and oldest daughter. Your son's birth order would not change but he would be "out numbered by having 2 girls and one boy in the house and how does he feel about that? I have found my own kids to be pretty honest. You could ask both of your children what age they think would work to share the good that your family has with another child.

Thank you for your post. I pray that you will be learning more that will help guide you into the decision ahead for your special family.

My best to you. Please check on the "Social Worker's Point of View" Expert forum for more answers.

Warm regards,

Sabra Cossentine
Community Director
for adoptionforums.com