Its been quite the "emotional roller coaster ride" for us! We completed the pre-adoptive/foster parent certification process, and were told that we would only be able to have a child that is newborn -2 years old placed with us, because at the time, our youngest daughter was 2 1/2. They did not want to disrupt the birth order of our family. They related it could be up to a 2 year wait for a child in that age bracket. Well 6 months later, my wife got a call one day saying they had a baby for us, and told us to go get him! We were like, what about the disclosure meeting we are supposed to have first? They related that what we learned in the classes, didn't necessarily happen in real life, and told us that he was at the hospital, and needed to be discharged a.s.a.p. We ended up having a mini disclosure meeting via the phone instead. This was at 12:00 noon. We picked up "Mikey" that afternoon at the hospital at 4:00 p.m. He was just 4 days old. We were told of Mom's past history, and were assured that it shouldn't be a high legal risk situation. Well, a few months later, the social worker called us and related that it might be a good idea to preparing our 3 daughters, because there was a good chance "Mikey" might be going back to Mom, cause she was following her service plan. We were so devistated! Mom had been also seeing "Mikey" 1 hour a week via a supervised visit @ DSS headquarters. Well, shortly after, Mom fell off the wagon and started to have dirty drug screens, didn't complete any of the required programs/classes, didn't keep her job ect... Mom then stopped showing for visits with Mikey. DSS couldn't find her all summer, but she re-appeared in early september, and was still seeking custody. She relates that DSS was stopping her from seeing Mikey?? Well the case went before a judge eventually, and mom's parental rights were terminated. Approx. 4 months later, the adoption was a reality!
About 1 1 /2 years later, we were notified by DSS that mom had another baby. Like our adoptive son, mom and baby tested + for drugs at birth, and the baby was taken away from birth mom at the hospital @ birth. We were asked if we would be interested in adopting the baby girl? My wife and I said yes. We couldn't bare to see them seperated, since they were full brother and sister. Currently we are fostering her pending the legal process of terminating mom's parental rights and ultimately the adoption. This time the process is going rather fast since DSS can't find the birth mom.
We put alot of research into the subject of adopting a child. There were alot of pros/cons realitive to adoption abroad vs. domestic adoption through a private agency vs. adopting a foster child through a state agency. For us, adopting through a state agency was the best choice. Rather than spend $15,000-$30,000.00, we chose to board the "emotional roller coaster" of a legal risk adoption instead of paying the big money. In addition, the state PAID US every month while the child was in foster care! Also, there was a good trackable medical history on the child and both parents. Also there are monies available through the state, if the child needs special care. Most children abroad have a minimal medical record or none at all at intake. Some agencies abroad don't even know who the parents are? If the child needs special help down the road, the agencies abroad won't help you...
Again, this was our choice. Alot of people would not be able to endure the "emotional roller coaster" as well as the long drawn out process of our legal system, so they might favor domestic adoption through a private agency or adoption abroad...
