It sounds like you have recieved some great advice about your inquiry so far. I just wanted to chime in from another perspective.
My partner's brother, John, has Downs, and really is an amazing guy. At 32 he still lives at home (his parent's choice), and he goes to work every day in a sheltered workshop. John is definately on the higher functioning end of DS and does lots of very normal things. He has a girlfriend he takes on dates, he hangs out with his friends, he goes shopping by himself, he has chores he does daily at home, he goes to parties, talks on the phone, writes letters, reads, listens to music, watches movies, paints, etc. Pretty much he does everything that anyone else would do, except occassionally he needs little extra reminders (for example, to remember to get correct change back when he pays for something, or to wash behind his ears.) John loves to come and stay with my partner and I for the weekend, and enjoys planning what he is going to do with his adopted niece or nephew someday! John received early intervention services from birth, and certainly was delayed in some ways. He didn't talk until he was 12, and even though he was "mainstreamed" he never worked at grade level. Luckily he had excellent teachers who took the time to help him along.
Now, another perspective. I work at a residential facility for children and adults with mental retardation. The facility was founded by a family who had a daughter with Downs in the early 70's, and many of the first residents were children with Downs. Back then the baby's were just dropped off when they got out of the hospital, and now there are adults who have lived there their entire lives. Most of those original adults now live in homes in the community, and work either on campus or at jobs in the community. Many of them function at the same level as John. There are a handful of adults with DS who function at a much lower level, and sometimes this is believed to be a result of lack of early intervention services, and sometimes despite the intervention, some people with DS just function at a lower level.
As a teacher, I work with a couple students who have DS and autism, which is a whole different ball game! One other thing to mention is that the DS community is very strong - you will get LOTS of support if you want it. I don't know where you are located, but I may be able to hook you up with some connections if you want them.
Please feel free to PM me if you want to ask me any specific questions. Good luck in making your decision
