[FatBirdy]

Thanks everyone for your stories. I can use the info to understand my bmom better. I am glad that some (Tammie, thanks!) are able to think about what I write as an adopttee and apply it to their own situation.

Mary - as for your son's secrecy - I really think, in his case, with his elderly parents and him coming out - the secrecy has nothing to do about you. I think he just doesn't want to shake things up more than they already are (for the time being). Do you know how his parents reacted to him coming out and do you know how comfortable they are with his adoption story - i.e: he may feel like he is betraying them if he was to say that he talks to you. This adoption business brings up a lot of feelings - I suspect at this time in his life he just can't deal with them right now....since he has so many others in his life. It's not that he values the other feelings more - it's just that this situation is easier to put on hold.

Sharon - thanks - you're very right about the Primal Wound...what was I thinking? haha. sspete - you're right too, I should just be clear with what I feel - not what a book says - especially one that I do not totally agree with.

Decison - you say lovely things about your feelings toward your bson. I hope you can reunite soon. As for my bmom - when I speak to her about this stuff she says she is so surprised that I want her to be motherly towards me and would rather just be friends....but the problem is - she is my bmom and I want her to care for me like a mom, not a friend. I hope this changes one day. She is talking about telling my half sibs after xmas - I hope that when she tells her kids she will realize that I am the same as them....her child and not a pal.

Hey - I have another question - did any reunited bmom's have differnt feelings or note a change in your relationship with your bchild when you told the child(ren) that you raised??