Wow, only an adoptee can consider an adoption a success??? I thought there were 3 sides to the triad. I agree completely with Dlouis, the adoptee's opinion is not the only opinion.
As parents we make choices for our children, those of us in open adoptions, feel that we are adding to our childrens life, not taking away from it by providing them with their hertiage background. The picture you described of watching your bmom go back to her family and that hurting you is sad and of concern to amoms in fully open adoptions with other children present. I would never want my daughter to feel like you. I wonder what has happened to cause you such sadness. Were you never close to your amom? Where you treated differently?
In my situation, the desparity between what I can offer and what the bmom can offer is huge. Her bmom currently does not have a home to call her own. Her other child is placed with family until she can provide. SHE and I are thankful that this child is not involved with this and is spared the pain her son is feeling. SHE has peace that her daughter is sleeping in her own bed at night, safe and sound. She has peace in knowing she can pick up the telephone and call anytime, day or night. She can declare this adoption a success. I can declare it a success, because without it, our daughter would be in Foster Care at the age of 2. I am sure our daughter will say the same one day, when she is able to speak for herself. In the meantime, please remember there are 3 sides to the triad. Bye
