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I believe that when bioparents or aparents post that the adoption is going well they are referring to the baby/child appearing to be content and adjusting normally to the family environment and the bioparents and aparents working together and keeping all agreements made that were agreed to in the adoption agreement.

There are many factors that can influence how a child matures, whether raised in an adopted family or biological family. There are some adoptees that made poor choices ~ influenced by their peers or society ~ just as young adults raised with their biological family may make poor decisions. The difference is that an adoptee can turn around and blame their poor decisions and the resulting problems on the fact that they were adopted. I don't think an adult adoptee's opinion is the only factor in whether the "adoption" was a success.

I am an adult adoptee and yes, I do feel my adoption was a "success", as did my aparents. I have recently been in contact with my bioDad and he has been very happy that everything he wished for me was given to me ~ a stable life with two parents ~ so he feels it was a "success" also. Does that mean I never made poor choices or my life was perfect? Of course not.

I'm not sure if you are speaking from your own perspective and feel your adoption was not "successful" or what point you are trying to make. This is just how I look at this topic.