I understand your feelings (I also posted on the archived thread that you resurrected).
One thing you must realize is that we (forum members) are constantly learning, growing and evolving through our interaction with other triad members. The thread you posted on was not recent. I don't know how old it was, but it was already consigned to the archives. These days, I think most of us are a little more objective about adoption than some members were in the past. Most of us are now aware that there are three sides to the adoption triad, and an adoption cannot be called an unqualified success until all parties involved have been heard from. Ultimately (at least IMO), the success or failure of an adoption hinges almost entirely on how the adoptee feels about it. Even an adoption that was a total nightmare for the birthmother or aparents could be tentatively labeled "successful" if the adoptee grew up to be happy and well-adjusted. I mean, that's the whole point, right? And even an adoption that made the aparents and birthmother joyously happy would not be successful, in my eyes, if the adoptee grew up to be an unhappy and maladjusted individual as a direct result of adoption-related issues.
Read on, my friend. I think you'll find a great many people on this forum who feel positive about their own adoption experiences, but at the same time realize that not everyone's experience is equally positive, but that their feelings are still equally valid. Most people I've met on the forum are sensitive to and supportive of the experiences of others, both good and bad.
~ Sharon
