Quote:
Originally posted by Sharon
If you are unable to find adoptive parents willing to take on this responsibility, perhaps you might look into placing your daughter into a live-in facility that specialized in treating children with problems like these; that way you could still remain in her life, visit her often, bring her home on weekends, etc. Or what about in-home care or respite nursing care for at least part of each day?
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Thank you for your suggestions. They are greatly appreciated.
This is something we have considered as a fallback position should a placement not happen. However, we do not consider it ideal. A few years ago I worked for an individual who was commissioned by the Ontario government to write a report on early childhood education. While I didn't agree with his recommendations (a large government education bureaucracy for small children) I do wholeheartedly agree that the level of stimulation and involvement a child receives in the first 3 years of life can be critical to her future development. (This is of course not to say that our futures are all determined by our third birthday; only that with the right support and love and care everything going forward can be made easier or more difficult.)
I don't want our little girl to be in an institution, because she will not get the stimulation she needs and deserves. I guess we are scared because we have seen the NICU where Heather has been for 3 months, and while the nurses and doctors and RTs are sweet and caring, it's not a stimulative and nurturing place for a little baby. Ultimately, what kind of care can she get in a facility by people who aren't her parents or family?
I guess in some way we're projecting our wishes for Heather. We want her to have loving caring parents who know going into this what is expected. We were under no illusions, but setback after setback has slowly but surely beaten us all down - my wife, my daughter and myself. (I'll be honest - had we known at Easter what know now our decision on termination would have been probably different, but we need to move forward with what is best for our little girl.) I think she needs love and involvement and effort and energy, and on an intellectual level I believe that she needs a complete bond with those good folks who are willing to provide this.
I think our little girl has a good chance of being a wonderful child with less serious health issues in the future. Whoever takes her deserves that joy and happiness should she get better, and she deserves to stay with whoever has given her that part of their life to get her to that point. We just can't get her there, and I'm convinced that the consequences to her of institutional care in these early years would be too high.