Don't give up!
Keep on with what you are doing. This child is pretty difficult but I have heard it all myself. What I think they are doing and what I know my daughter was doing is using defenses because they can't and are afraid to say what they are really feeling which is "I am scared and hurting and I really want you to love me and keep me."
You see to feel that way is very risky but to feel angry and say hurtful things is not risky for these kids. Also the anger thing is a lot of what they have seen and heard themselves and they just don't know any other way to behave!
Right now my daughter is sitting on the couch here in our computer room, with roller skates on and a guitar with one string in it, berating me because I don't feel like going out and going shopping tonight.
Now she is poking the guitar at the dog. This is going to be a tantrum tonight.
Anyway what you need to do is try to distance yourself from her and be the parent. These kids will manipulate like crazy to get what they want and it just takes time and experience to not be taken in my them. Just always remember your committment to her and don't give up. There is light at the end of the tunnel!
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