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I have three children with three different levels of openness. My oldest is closed. My middle is one way communication (mostly although her bmom did contact me to adopt again but then tragically miscarried) and two way communication. I just tell my children the truth and help them to understand that it isn't any reflection on them - they were and still are very very loved. We talk a lot in our family about how people are different. This is one more extension of that. We talk about how times change - this is one more extention of that. We talk about different ways we show love - this is one more extension of that. We talk about different families - some have grandmas they see, some don't etc - you get the picture. My oldest seems to have accepted this well. I will register to reconnect when she is older in case her bmom wants contact but I am of the opinion that I should respect her bmom's wishes and not assume that I know she would not wish the same today. That said, I also made it clear that I would be happy to have contact if she changed her mind.
I think getting a picture is a great idea - that does matter a lot to my middle child.
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Cynthia
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