[MkMw]

Our sons' adoption is open - although we haven't seen their birthfamily since they were 4 months we do plan on it again, just not sure when, the trip to see them is expensive. We do however have a very good relationship with them.

They were supportive of our decision to adopt again. We just assumed we would wind up in some version of an open or semi-open adoption. DD had already been born we were matched. Her birthmom agreed to meet us, but subsequently changed her mind. I have not seen her face, nor heard her voice. Our adoption is closed on her request. I wrote her one letter to her last know address, making sure she had the name and address not only of the agency that placed DD, but the address of our homestudy agency. And, made sure that our homestudy agency cross referenced a file with her last name in case she didn't learn or forgets what our last name is.

As for how we are planning to handle it - for now, we ar lucky, my sons' BirthMom is also interested her their sister. When I sent updates, I generally make sure to include a few pictures of my sons' with my DD and put in a very short paragraph about what she is doing. It's also a good way for DS' birthMom to see their nurturing side, not so prevelent in soccer pictures.

As DD gets older, there are some things in her story that I think will help her see (if it becomes an issue for her) that the adoption clearly had nothing to do with her, but with her birthMother. And, because we do have her name, and some other information that may help us locate her - and if not her, some of DD's bio sibs (also not living with brithMother).

Our attorney and agency were so good about getting us as much information as possible. I actually have duplicates of some things. So -

I guess, in your situation that's what I would do - make sure she knows the door is unlocked and she can come in anytime. Make sure she has altrenative ways of reaching (like an agency or attorney unlikely to go out of business) and see how it goes....