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Originally Posted by SeekingBalance
I am wondering what you guys consider safe topics during initial reunion. i find myself to be walking on eggshells and I dont know how to relate to my birthmom. When i treat her like a friend, she pullsback. When i treat her like a business associate, she is very responsive. I have never had issues relating or connecting with anyone, and it is killing my self esteem. How can I talk to her?
I know not to mention my birthdad or her family yet, but is it wrong for me to ask some direct questions? like is she ever planning on letting anyone know about me, why didnt she have any other children, why she didnt send me the pics she promised, if this reunion is hard for her, if i can trust her, if she wants me in her life, how i was born, if i had a different name, if her joints are healthy, if she has diabetes in the family.... whats not right to ask.... what is too soon? i dont want to hurt her... or myself. so confused.
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She may be as confused about this as you. So the business relationship is a good start.
Ask about your brith story see if she is willing to talk about that.
Tell her why you searched if you haven't already.
Ask about grandparents, a just like to know.
Ask about her marriage and is she happy.
Just ask..