I don't know what to say that's very helpful either. M is 9 now, and has been with us for 6 years (on Tues). The frustrating part for us is that he's not "full-blown" RAD or "full-blown" FAS. We have "an attachment disorder that was very close to merging into RAD when he came to us" and ARND, as bio mom wouldn't confirm acohol exposure during pregnancy.
So neither is bad enough for any major services from CAS or the school, but together they are enough to have turned dh and I grey by 30!
There are days I don't think he's attached at all, and he's just counting the days until he can legally move out.... then there are the days that he will run back downstairs at bedtime and go "MOM! I forgot to HUG you!!!"
I just try to keep the good days in my mind when the bad days come knockin'...
My goal is to keep him alive and out of prison. Only a fellow RADmom would understand that. College would be awesome, but very much beyond what I will accept. Living on his own would be great, but not likely (though the break would be nice... lol). Marriage and children, I would die of happiness.... but only IF he's capable of loving them properly; otherwise I'd be terrified of a cycle repeat.
Well he's screaming at N right now, so I need to do some crowd control - chocolate turns my house into a rerun of Where the Wild Things are.