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emmesmom, tomorrow we adopt 2 beautiful kids whose first family is 2 counties away. They know. They've always known.
And while Flowergirl only remembers me as mom, Bubba has lots of memories about "Barbie." Some are fantastic, some are horrific, but he loves her still. In fact, last night he was telling me that he didn't understand why he couldn't go home. She only "hurted" him once. Well, she only put him in the hospital once. She did lots of things other than that.
Will he ever give up? I don't think so. He loves her. And he punishes me from time to time for not being her. But he loves me. I know he does. He knows he does. He just has to do what he does while he processes things.
It feels personal, but it isn't. At least not toward you. You are handy. Her real anger is toward all of those folks who didn't protect her. When Bubba felt compelled to tell me it was my fault for things that happened, I calmly told him it was not, it was due to decisions that Barbie and grandpa and great grandma were making. And then the judge had to make decisions because of their choices. I've said it so much that when I start it now, he says, "Yeah I know--choices."
I'm sorry that she is so devastated. But it's part of the process. No fair, but part of it anyway.
Everyone has let her down and hurt her. She's trying to make sure that if you leave, it's because she wanted you to. That's easier than allowing love to grow up between you. Hang on. It took time for her to become this hard and angry. It will take time to trust.
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