Update:
We were expecting our daughter to be born in late July. However, she decided she wanted to meet us a few weeks early...nine weeks earlier than we were expecting
. I had labored over how to ask her bio mom what she thought of me breastfeeding Tahlia. My plan was, after much discussion with many people wiser than myself, to tell her that I was planning on nursing Tahlia and asking her how she felt about the idea of me breastfeeding. I was going to talk to her about it as a nurse first and as a mom second...keeping it "educational" and "the benefits!" first and "bonding" and "nurturing" second.
Tahlia's early arrival put me on the spot with discussing it with her bio mom.
What ended up happening is that we met Tahlia's bio mom for the first time an hour AFTER her emergency c-section at 31 weeks gestation, weighing 3 lbs, 9 oz. Later that morning in the NICU my husband and I were getting an update from the NICU doc who said at one point, "We will start feedings sometime this afternoon through a feeding tube. And since you're adopting, I assume it's okay if we go ahead and use formula?"
And so the games began...I told her my brief story and shared that I had - in the middle of all the madness of getting THE CALL and driving 8 hours through the night to the hospital several states away - brought my pumped colostrum along with me and that I still had a complete supply and was planning to nurse Tahlia. She was certainly surprised - hard to disguise it I guess, but put the legal ball in motion. After that, Tahlia's bio mom and I visited the NICU together and I simply said to her..."the doctor was telling us that they will probably start feedings through a tube today. I wanted to talk to you about that when we met BEFORE Tahlia was born, but since she's already here
, I guess now's the time
. I was hoping to breastfeed Tahlia. I have had a lot of milk since our first daughter was born. What do you think about that?" She simply responded, "oh, that sounds good." Knowing our story...being 17...being on the spot...being shell shocked along with me...I don't know what all went in to her response, but she didn't bat an eyelash. A few hours later, after I had met with the social worker and lactation consultant, they - along with the NICU doc went and talked with the bio mom to get "consent" (verbal, documented in the doc's progress note).
That night, at about 15 hours of age, my little girl nursed for the first time...I nursed for the first time, despite having had a complete milk supply for over 4 months. It was so completely amazing. In fact, Tahlia did so well that they changed her estimated gestational age, thinking she had to be at least a couple weeks older than everyone thought.
She was in the NICU for 15 days and was discharged at 3lbs 13oz exclusively breastfeeding! In fact...one of the most wonderful parts of our NICU stay was that while her bio mom was still in patient as well, we would go to the NICU together, she would change Tahlia's diaper, I would nurse her, and then she would burp her...I couldn't have asked for more...what an incredibly AWESOME bio mom!