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Originally Posted by epenn922
I never know anymore what the proper names for everyone in the triad is... I just came across this article that indicates birthmother = breeder or incubator......What are the proper terms? Certainly don't want to offend anyone with labels....I was just wondering what was thought of the term 'birthmother'.
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Generally, I agree with the article's premise.
I'm not much for labels....
To all of my children, I am simply "mom"....to the two children I raised, and to the one that I did not raise....I am mom. But, that is "who" I am rather than "what" I am.
I use the term "nmom" (for natural mom) now, generally on forums like this, but I'd still rather not have any label put upon myself. However, natural mother is the LEGAL TERM that is used, and I use it as well.
I think we need to take care and not fall into the trap of taking a SITUATION and using it as a LABEL....for ourselves, or for anyone else.
My daughter, a senior at university in the special education teaching program, taught me this about labels:
.....a child with autism.... NOT an autistic child....
Our situation in life does not define us....the situation may provide information about us....but it does not define us....not solely, nor in part, are we the definition of our situation.
I am a woman who lost a child to adoption.
I am also many, many other things, and have had many, many other experiences and situations which are not related to adoption loss.
On the forums, it is convenient to use abbreviations.... saves time....it's "efficient".... But, I say let's not be lazy...let's take the time to spell out in no uncertain terms just exactly what we mean to say.
If we quit labeling ourselves, perhaps others will follow suit....
Sincerely,
Susan....a woman who lost a child to adoption....