I do love my daughter unconditionally. I just can't deal with the pain she causes me by ignoring me or saying things that hurt me or doing things that hurt me. She feels no remorse whatsoever and it's just so stressful to me to deal with.
I will ALWAYS love her. I have always loved her. There's a saying that I use a lot when I'm upset with my other children or my husband. It goes like this:
"I love you but I don't like what you're doing"
I've been told you can love someone but not want to deal with the pain they cause or other things they do but it doesn't mean you don't love them if you walk away.
Also for forgiveness, I've had a hard time with that one. I've been trying to forgive everyone involved with this and it's starting to get to me.
I've been told I don't have to communicate with someone or accept their behavior or what they've done and start being "buddies" with them just because I forgive. But forgiving means to let it go and let God take care of it and if you can associate with them fine, but it's not necessary in the scheme of things to be "friends" just becuase you forgive.
I do know that forgiving someone helps you move on and not stress about them and it helps you deal with life better. I've forgiven a few people in my life that has lifted a great burdon off my shoulder to do but this situation with my daughter is driving me crazy.
Elaine I'm so sorry your birthmom has done all the stuff she's done to you. I hope someday you will find peace in it. I just don't understand how a mother can do that to her child. The child didn't cause the problem. The result of the rape isn't the child's fault. It just happened and a child was produced.
I realize it's a "reminder" for her to have to see your face and relive the experience in her mind but it's not your fault that she was raped. I wish she could separate that from the horrible thing that happened to her.
lovemy6 you're right about families and how the children can turn out no matter who raised them. I just guess sometimes I just don't get why this is happening and why she hates me so much. I didn't give her up because I wanted to. I was forced and yet I don't think she believes it. Her adoptive mom has succeeded in turning her against me. I just don't get it.
LasVegasMom, I'm sorry you're going through the stuff you are too. You definitely are going through the same kind of thing I am. I'm sorry that your son is ignoring you now like he is too. I KNOW how much that hurts.
Rylee