I'm just wondering if I'm the only one who ever worries about this.
Do you ever wonder if your birthchild you're reunited with is actually YOUR child?
I think about this all the time and wonder if my daughter really is my daughter or if my real child is still out there somewhere looking for me.
My daughter looks like me and all that stuff but the way she acts and the things she does and the way she treats me just seems it can't possibly be MY daughter doing those horrible things.
I'm sure I'm just WISHING she wasn't my daughter because of the way she treats me but I do wonder and I've even thought about doing a DNA testing thing but can't afford it and well... why bother it won't change anything if she really is my daughter she'll still be the rude, self centered, selfish, inconsiderate (among many other things) person that she is.
I just wish I understood how she could be this way and how she could just choose not to contact me or respond to my IM's or emails and not have the least bit of guilt over any of the things she does.
How can a person tell you one minute that you're important to them and they want you in their life and you "mean the world to them" and then the next just act like you're nothing and nobody and the LEAST important person alive?
I am trying so hard to just let this go and "accept" that she's a damaged person who had no conscience and no love in her at all but it's hard for me to deal with that thought.
The thought that I could have produced such a person from my body who could be so uncaring and unloving and unconcerned about my feelings just doesn't hit me right as someone being MY child.
My other children are not perfect and they don't always care how I feel about something but they are not the kind of person my daughter is. They don't ignore me, they don't treat me like I don't count and they don't stay away for long periods of time without letting me know where they are or how they're doing. My other children do things all the time to show me they love me. I try to show them the same back and I know they know that I love them.
My daughter on the other hand couldn't care less about anything I do to show her that I love her. She just shines it all off as if some stranger doing something she can just ignore.
Anyway.................
Sorry for the ranting and raving. I am just so angry right now I can't stand it and I am really beginning to think seriously that that person who claims to be my daughter really ISN'T my daughter. HOW could she be???
Rylee