[sak9645]

Agencies have different policies regarding escort. Many use their own staff to meet the child, complete the paperwork, and bring the child home. Others tend to use parents who adopted previously from the country, and are familiar with the travel and in-country procedures. Still others use staff from the foreign orphanage or their own office in the foreign country.

It is not common for a family member other than the parents, or for a family friend, to do the trip, but it does happen. And agencies don't go out recruiting strangers to do escort. Escort requires a very special type of person -- one who has lots of experience with children in general, and with newly adopted children, in particular. The children are often sick and grieving, and the flight is likely to be very, very stressful and difficult. Who better than an adoptive parent or an agency worker who sees adopted children every day?

Moreover, escort does not allow time for sightseeing and such. Generally, the person gets to the country, has a night's sleep, handles all the necessary paperwork, and then gets back on a plane with the child. The object is to get the child to the new parents as quickly as possible. With jet lag and the rigors of travel, not to mention the fact that the children often have diaper blowouts and other problems, it's truly a labor of love that no escort fee can compensate for.

My homestudy social worker did her first escort shortly after I traveled to China to bring home my daughter. The social worker, an experienced Mom, called me upon her return from the escort trip to India, and said, "I don't know how you parents do it!" She was totally exhausted and couldn't do much besides sleep when she got home. And the child she was escorting was actually pretty healthy and mellow, by international adoption standards.

Adoption travel isn't easy, and some new parents just don't want to do it. Personally, I think it's a mistake. Going to a new culture, and learning to parent there under a certain amount of adversity, is a tremendously empowering experience. You DO survive this "labor", and you learn that you WILL be able to handle virtually anything that comes up in your life as a parent. And you have photographs and memories that will last a lifetime.

Sharon