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This has been said a number of time on this forum, but it is the BEST advice I think any one of us could give to you - ADOPTION IS A PERMANENT SOLUTION TO A TEMPORARY PROBLEM. You WILL build a relationship with this baby and as alturistic and you and your boyfriend think you are being, you could be doing yourselves and your baby a tremendous amount of harm. On the other hand, it could work out wonderfully for all of you. More than likely, there will be mixed feelings and mixed outcomes. As a birthmother, I would encourage you to do everything possible to make sure this is the right decision for you and your baby. I relinquished almost 30 years ago and even though I am in a good reunion with my son, I have never gotten over the hurt and loss associated with adoption. It is never easy.
I want to make sure you understand that I am not trying to tell you your decision is wrong or to listen to me and no one else. Just take the advice you have asked for and use it to make the best decision for you and your baby. Although many will tell you that only the baby matters now - that your feelings don't matter anymore, this is NOT true. You and your baby are connected and you both matter.
Let me know if I can help.
Deb
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