[mommy2fiveplus]

Biomom and biodad really need to seek counselling. That way both they and you will know that this is really the right decision for everyone. 9 monthes is a long way off and both of them could have a change of heart.

I don't mean to be a downer, but what if biodad dies in Iraq? Will biomom really want to give up a piece of him? It isn't likely but it could happen. I have also seen a case where family had three kids couldn't afford another, offerred baby to a family member, found out it was gonna be a boy (they had three girls) wavered for several monthes and then decided to parent a few days after birth.

I think these type of relative adoptions are very difficult because everything is so personal. In a regular domestic adoption the potential adoptive parents do not personally know the birth parents so the idea of them grieving is somewhat abstract, also in a regular adoption, the pressure on the birth parents to relinquish is not as strong because they are not running the risk of ruining a family relationship or breaking the hearts of a family member.

I wish everyone well and I hope that it goes smoothly.