[kellyd]

I was starting to think my post must not have made sense or was inappropriate- thank you so much for understanding! I so value the opinion of those who have been on the other side of the fence. I truly agree about every minute past is gone forever. I think, after the maturity necessary to think of a child before myself (meaning, the last thing on earth I wanted to do was not raise my child, it's just that she was too perfect, and I was not near good enough at 16), I would have been able to handle reunion at 18. I'm just not sure my daughter's life has been such that she has needed that level of emotional strength. Actually, I truly hope it hasn't. That said, I know I am ready- I have counted down every single day for 18 years. Her adopted parents changed thier minds about open adoption about the time she was old enough to comprehend, so I don't know what she knows about me. And, I havn't found a direct email address or facebook that I can access. Her brother and sister have pages that are viewable, but hers are all so privacy protected no one can even tell they are there. I can only assume her parents have instructed this probably because of me. I don't know if I should mail a letter to their house- or call- maybe not such a good idea. I'm lost on the how part. I didn't get how both of you reunited. I would love to hear your stories. Sorry to ramble on- as you can tell, I am at that spot where I have all this energy, emotional and otherwise, to direct towards someone who is not there. Thanks again for answering me- it really means a lot. Kelly