Thanks all for your vote of confidence and congrats, I truly am blessed by this unexpected surprise.
I don't mind answering questions at all because I hope that my experience can somehow help other people out there as they struggle to make the best decision for their situation.
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Originally Posted by Hmarie68
When you thought about adoption....was it just the financial aspect-not being able to provide financially etc that drew you most to considering adoption?
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My initial decision to place my baby for adoption was based on many things. First was financial, I made stupid decisions when I was young and I have a lot of debt. I do not have health insurance and I am mainly self employed so I am not elegible for any of the gov't programs in the state due to them counting income but not expenses. The baby's dad travels a lot so basically I am a single parent. I have a job where I work outside most of the time regardless of the weather and I work long hours seven days a week. I dont' take vacations or days off. It is a lifestyle that I have CHOSEN and I didn't think it was fair to force it on another being.
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Originally Posted by Hmarie68
How is your life different now that you are parenting?
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Now that I am parenting I dont' get as much done. I spend more time sitting on the couch and I am sleep deprived. I also have this amazing human being that constantly surprises me.
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Originally Posted by Hmarie68
Have you found support, not only financially but in other ways that you thought you'd never have?
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Not really, I was realistic about what I was getting into.
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Originally Posted by Hmarie68
When you look back before your baby was born, were you just scared to become a parent or questioned your ability to raise a child that made you think about adopting?
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I wasn't really scared about my ability to parent, but about my ability to juggle everything and my willingness to sacrifice myself for the needs of another. I was also worried about being able to provide for her financially. I am still worried, but it's all working out somehow.
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Originally Posted by Hmarie68
How has the agency that you worked with treated you since your decision to parent? Did they ever make you feel a certain way when you made that decision?
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The agency rep was wonderful, very understanding. I thinks he still worries about my ability to juggle everything, but she was supportive.
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Originally Posted by Hmarie68
And...had you chosen a waiting adoptive couple/single yet prior to your baby's birth? Or been shown profiles?
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I had looked at profiles and picked out a family for my baby, but I had NOT met them and they did not know of my decision. Honestly, I am the type that could not have promised a child to someone and backed out and I think that's why I drug my heels about meeting any prospective families. I didn't want to get anyone's hopes up until I was 100% sure of my decision.
IF so, just wondering what your thoughts are on choosing adoptive parents and then deciding to parent affected you or them.[/quote]
I do not think badly of any mom's that did pick out parents and backed out. I feel sorry for the Pap's, but I would hate to hear that someone gave up their baby only out of a sense of obligation.
I hope this helps some, congrats on your new addition.