I started nursing our adopted daughter at 6 hours. I saw no difference in how she interacted with me compared to how my bio-son interacted me. I'm not saying she didn't grieve her birthmom, I just didn't see it.
Part of this may be because of how we raise our babies. I wore her in a sling most of the time. See
TheBabyWearer.com We co-sleep, which is what babies want and need (the 5 member pediatric committee that released the APA statement on co-sleeping had at least one member with ties to the mattress industry. See James McKenna for good research on the safety and benefits of co-sleeping.
Cosleeping.org - Information about co-sleeping - the family bed) All the research shows that the more you hold a baby, the less they will fuss. I take pride in the fact that I never used a swing with either of my kids. The only time they sat in bouncey chairs was when I went to the bathroom.
How you treat your baby will have a HUGE effect on how your baby acts. Since this is your first baby, I highly recommend "The Baby Book" by Sears.
Amazon.com: The Baby Book: Everything You Need to Know About Your Baby from Birth to Age Two (Revised and Updated Edition): William Sears, Martha Sears, Robert Sears, James Sears: Books It will answer almost every question you have about babies and toddlers. (I am a neonatal RN and it answered questions that I had.)
If you would like to adoptive nurse, you can get more information at
Ask Lenore ~ Home Page. It might be too late for you to get donor breastmilk right away, but you might be able to at
Donation. You can use a lactaid
Welcome to Lact-Aid International, Inc. to feed your baby either formula or donor breastmilk. Your baby will get all the bonding benefits of nursing whether you work at establishing your own milk supply or not.
Also, since you are having a boy, be aware that the intense pain of circumcision can have negative effects on bonding. This is an unnecessary procedure that has long term negative effects on sex, has many risks involved, and does not allow the boy to choose how his own body will look. Here are some good resources:
TCAC Forum Resources: Parenting information, commonly asked questions, and web resources - MotheringDotCommunity Forums
Congratulations and good luck