[ladyjubilee]

I don't actually believe that RAD is common in foster kids. The comment was made that it has to be common because otherwise the kids wouldn't be in foster care...that's just not true. I've had 4 placements---and am being considered for 2 more (kids I know)...a total of 8 kids in foster care. I also know through respite another child and her 2 siblings....and three adults adopted from foster care....two teens now adopted after long stints in fostercare...plus I know about 8 other kids through their foster/adopt parents. Of that group 2 (the girls I had to disrupt the placement with) were RAD and 1 of the now adults is probably RAD.

I don't know about the home life of most of the kids, I know the girls lived with out and out torture (the kind of stuff terrorists use) and the now adult similar....but my first placement and current placement were/are loved by and attached to their parents. The same is true for the two that are (hopefully) coming to me. The parents just had/have big problems that make parenting very difficult (if not impossible).

The thing is....RAD is popular in the foster/adoption community. And for some kids its an accurate diagnosis. But it's also like going to an autism meeting---suddenly every kid in the room is autistic! RAD comes from pretty intense and severe treatment--not every child in or from foster care has that kind of severity in their history.

Personally, I think that if you want to get an idea of what "foster kids" are like, get involved with other foster parents in the real world. Our agency does monthly trainings and tries to do a family activity each quarter. Do respite, see how the kids actually behave (though if it is a child with RAD be aware you'll have Pollyanna while Carrie hides in the closet). There are some absolutely FANTASTIC WONDERFUL kids who just happen to be in fostercare.....in fact, I argue the most common feature of foster kids isn't RAD but what great kids, normal kids they are.