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When I was young, I felt a deep attachment to my adoption experience...mainly it should be hidden and never mentioned....Altho, there were many people who knew, they never mentioned it and neither did I.
When I was told at 7, it was a devastating experience. We lived in a small town, and many people knew of the adoption. They never mentioned it. But, I knew I was an outsider.
My peers all had birth families. That was something I wanted, but didn't have, and couldn't get. I was ashamed for many reasons.
When we lived in that small town, I only shared my adoption experiences with 2 people. The first felt sorry for me and began to pity me, as though I had some serious unknown disease. The 2nd person pretended to be ok with the information, but I never saw him again.
Once we moved away from that town, no one knew of my linking to adoption. It never came up and I never shared. It worked out well. All that was left was to insure that the whole adoption experience did not control my life...and it didn't. The grief and loss remained, but in spite of it, I was able to move on.
I wish you all the best.
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