[NJNative]

"It could not have been love? Mom, how can my adopted parents LOVE me? My adoptive mother was never pregnant. She didn't experience the chemical and physiological changes over the course of 9 months. She did not feel the pain of delivery or miracle of gestation.
No, my adoptive mother was the same dress size the day before she took me and the day after. Do you see how RANDOM and SICK that is???
Monday; NO BABY Tuesday: BABY IN ARMS.
This is the reason pregnancy is a term of a woman's life, because human bonding intended to last for life can not take place like buying a Maytag Washer."

I feel that you are overlooking the ability of women to bond with their adopted children. My son, who is now 18, could not be bonded any more to me if he was my bio son. I didn't need to be pregnant for my maternal instincts to kick in. The very first night we had him with us (he was 10 months old), I woke up every time he rolled over or made a noise. Even today, if he comes to my door in the middle of the night and says, "Mom" very softly, I am instantly awake. I love my son with every fiber of my being and with every breath in my body. Bonding is not an instanteous thing. It happens over time.

I come from a family where two of my grandparents -- my mother's mom and my father's dad -- were adopted. So are four of my cousins. No one cares about whether somebody is biologically related or not. We are family because we see each other as family. And even those of us who are biologically related don't look much like each other anyway. All those mixed up genes.

I am sorry that you are so angry and bitter. I hope you can find someone to talk to and come to peace with your families and most of all, with yourself.

Robin