[BlackSheep]

Whirled Peas

Always good to hear from an amom.

The idea of writing letters would be like adoptees trying to get sealed records opened worldwide, IMHO. I am both an adoptee and a bmom. People approach me terribly differently knowing that I am an adoptee vs a bmom. You see, society still has this concept of bmoms abandoning their children and aparents as being saviors of a poor, helpless baby. Until that changes, trying to change anything in the adoption agencies will be almost impossible....my opinion.

Emoms are given counseling now. Can't tell you what kind or how much as I didn't receive any. They also receive counseling after relinquishment. But how much or how good, I can't say. I had to seek out my own counseling to get through the grief and learn to live with my decision. But the grief doesn't go away...

Education of society outside of the triad is needed, from all members of the triad. Yes, there are adoptees and bmoms that don't want to be found, but that is their decision and should be honored. I don't know about all states, but mine does give either party the power of veto to giving out any info if someone doesn't wish to be found.

Until society accepts that adoptees search (to find what every human being deems as right and theirs to know) and every bmom has a story (that includes love and loss) and doesn't just abandon their children, and aparents (who also suffer love and loss) love, nuture and raise these babies into productive citizens, where will we be? It is just another form of discrimination and degredation that is tolerated by all sides.