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Your feelings are all valid. How much personal growth you would, or would not, get is important. However, as you consider your choice, I think the main consideration should be how you would love and care for this child. If you could love him as much as the baby you are carrying, if you could give him all the medical care he needs, if you could have him make his bed and do chores just like his to be born sibling, if you could give him the life he deserves, then consider it.
If you could not, let a family who could do so raise him.
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