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When my dh was in Officers Candidate School, he was given the big blue book of Service Etiquette. Seriously. That thing weighed about as much as a brick. In it were all of the rules of etiquette for everything.
Did you know that when you call on a family that the male leaves a calling card for every adult living in the house, but no more than 3, and the female leaves a card only for the adult females in the house, again no more than 3?
Oh, if you were hosting, you'd better have a platter or lovely bowl out to hold those cards. This action was carried out silently and discreetly so as not to make a show of it.
I've even done it! But not in about a million years. And I'm still visiting and being visited.
This is my long-winded way of saying that rules of etiquette change sometimes. And even if they don't, you who know them are still "bound" by them. In other words, someone else's impolite behavior will never excuse your own.
If you love the person for whom the shower is being thrown, go. Have a fabulous time. And excuse the faux pas.
You know, it really is true--the person with the best breeding and manners is the one who makes the most people feel comfortable and welcome.
You don't need to remember too many rules with that!
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