Katie - I'm not in your age group, but I feel that (as women) I'm still that same girl I was back then, with the same issues and longings. I only had the adoption agency name to go by, my hospital and date of birth, that's it. I found out on the agency's website that I was entitled to "non-identifying" information from them and they sent it right away. I found out a LOT!! Two single spaced typed pages worth!! If you happen to know what hospital you were born in, write to them asking for your birth records for medical reasons. There is also a piece of paper called the "final decree of adoption" that was issued to your adoptive parents where your name was changed and the adoption finalized. When I sent away for my "final decree", I got my birthmother's maiden name right off it!! I was thrilled! And that was all I needed to proceed. On the hospital records they too failed to white out her identifying information and I even found out her entire name, first and last, and her known address at the time!! So, all this is to say, even if you were involved in a "closed" adoption, it doesn't mean that the semi-unconscious people that send you your paperwork will be smart enough to white out the pertinent information YOU NEED!!! It could happen to you too!
Check out every book from the library on searching, every website you have time to look at. ISSR is a good registry as is any one in the state you were born in. I was born in NYC - and if I can find my parents (both) in a city that large, I think anyone can!! You can also be creative in the way you deal with the agency by asking questions that can get more info out of them than they are allowed to give. I asked my social worker at the agency if my Father's name was "trendy or traditional" and she said, "hmmm....It could be a presidential name..." which led me to find out my Father's first name! It NEVER hurts to ask. Then I was able to cross-reference him on Classmates with the year I figured he graduated, based on the info from the non-identifying information the agency sent.
I agree with the other post where she mentioned that it's important to find similarities with other adoptees and build on that. You can learn SO much here and other sites and become more prepared than if you go it alone. It's also helpful to have a friend support you so you're able to share stuff as it comes up.
I'm 44 next month and I wish i had searched at 23 - I would've figured out alot of things about myself which I think would've helped in my parenting my own kids. I was 35, with a 2 and 5 year old! Those poor kids had to deal with a "checked out" Mom for a while as I dealt with the emotions of search and reunion. The outcome was very, very good and I'm happy I went thru with it while everyone was still alive and well!
Much success, Susan Lee
