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Personally, I wouldn't worry about it. The purpose of a shower is to celebrate with the mom-to-be and to help them with all the expenses that are coming up. If this is someone you want to celebrate with, go and don't worry about who is hosting it.
On the other hand, when I was trying to get pregnant and wasn't, I stopped going to baby showers. They were just too painful. That is a good reason to not go. Since we didn't tell anyone we were ttc, we probably looked cheap or uncaring when I didn't go and we accepted that. It was just too painful to go and see someone else pregnant.
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