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I had/have texture and smell issues with a lot of foods. As a child I ate absolutely no vegetables with the exceptions of corn or Lima beans in soup.
The best thing my parents ever did for me was to offer them, put them on my plate, but not force me to eat them. But not before I got to the point of sneaking food before dinner time because I was so hungry. But I couldn't handle sitting in front of a smelly plate of green beans or peas for an hour not even being allowed to get up from the table to uncramp my legs or go to the bathroom. Or the idea of vomiting onto my plate again. For me, that pattern of sneaking food lead to binging, and real problems with food.
Food quickly becomes a battle with children, much like potty learning. Those are two things they can control very well.
I follow the ideal of: It's MY CHOICE in regards to what they are offered/served to eat. I decide what's for dinner. THEY decide how much of it to eat, if any at all. Unless a child already has food issues of course, in which case I would follow advice of their Ped or councilor.
I also never ever put desert in line as a reward for doing anything, especially not eating other things. I am an emotional eater, and I have an unhealthy relationship with food in that way. If I can break that pattern for one child, I will have succeeded.
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